I grew up thinking everyone knew how to forgive because in our house that is how we lived every day. My parents only spoke one way to each other and it was always with love. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized how blessed I was. My father is a stress management consultant and lives what he teaches.
When we hear the word FORGIVE our first thought is …there is no way I am going to forgive him/her because if I forgive them that means I think it’s ok and I DO NOT THINK THAT WHAT THEY DID WAS OK!!!
Forgiveness does not mean that we are ok with what happened it only allows others to be less than perfect; we are forgiving those who have done wrong to us it does not mean we are approving of what those people are doing.
I would like to share with you the 4 steps on how to forgive, since each of us at some time or another will be offended by someone or something even though we try our best not to take offense it just happens.
1. FORGIVE OUT LOUD- there is something about hearing ourselves say it that makes a huge difference. If you need to to it while you are driving, on a walk, in the shower the place doesn’t matter what matters is that you are able to hear your self say it out loud.
2. BE SPECIFIC- as to who you are forgiving and to what you are forgiving them for. The more specific the better. Sometimes it’s ourselves we need to be forgiving, we are hardest on ourselves.
3. PUT IN THE CORRECT TENSE– we have a tendency to say, “I’ll forgive”, or “I need to forgive”, or “I should forgive” these are all in the future. We need to say, “I FORGIVE” and go on to be specific and say it out loud.
4. FORGIVE AGAIN AND AGAIN– this will be the hardest part, we have such great memories. I guess that’s why we have been told in the scriptures to forgive 70 x 7 times which is 490 times. I guess if we are taking count and we get to 490 times we just need to start over, as my dad would say.
Our physical bodies are amazing, they can heal themselves. But if we are worried, hold grudges, want to get even with someone, or feel guilt our bodies will give us exactly what we need to justify those feeling. A healthy person FORGIVES quickly!